I almost killed my YouTube Channel... learn from my mistakes

Can you even “kill” a social media platform … I’m not sure, but I definitely came close. I might have almost destroyed my YouTube Channel, but honestly … It almost destroyed me first. Almost killing my YouTube channel was actually very essential for my personal growth. Let me explain …

If you have been following me for awhile, you know I go through the occasional existential crisis (and in case you’re unfamiliar with the term “existential crisis,” it means - moments when individuals question whether their lives have meaning, purpose, or value, and are negatively impacted by the contemplation).

And… yep, that was me most of 2021.

On June 7th of this year - I posted a video simply titled, “Things are changing…”, it’s still there if you want a more detailed understanding of what was going through my head when I decided to make that video, but in summary:

I chatted about how I sorta started a 6-figure earning social media marketing agency, kind of by accident.

I talked about the struggles and limitations of a personal brand, especially while having so many facets of my business.

I shared how I struggled with being indecisive for the first time - because honestly, before then … making decisions was quite easy for me.

… and I THOUGHT I found a new way forward. Which don’t get me wrong, I made some really great decisions during this time. One being the separation between my personal brand and my social media agency, which is now called Creatorly Media. Those two things had to be separated, which definitely was huge in providing my mental health a much needed break, but because I had already hit the ultimate burnout, I took it a few steps too far, almost killing my YouTube channel.

I decided to take my personal brand in a new direction and quickly made a hard pivot away from the content that I had been making the last few years and because I was so miserable - I started making content similar to those creators I had been admiring for so long. I thought this would make me happy, but it didn’t.

Do you ever remember me talking about the 3 month rule? I often say that you need to try something for 3 months to see if it will work… So that's what I did. I gave this pivot three full months of experimenting and came to a few realizations.

Trying to chase the lifestyles you see on YouTube will always leave you feeling inadequate. It is so easy to get sucked into someone’s life on any social media platform, but especially YouTube. It can all seem so perfect and glamorous … and even though deep down I know that their life isn’t as awe-inspiring as it seems on video, it’s so easy to get hypnotized by it. In my state of utter and complete burnout, I saw lifestyle creators and vloggers living a life that seemed desirable to me. And honestly, I felt like a nerdy outcast of the YouTube world, and I wanted to be cool, and hip, and trendy like the people I was watching. So …. I tried to be like them in my videos.

Just because everyone else in the niche does it that way, doesn’t mean that you have to. I literally felt trapped and I felt so strongly that the way I saw other people creating content in my niche was NOT the way I wanted to be a creator. I felt like “gurus” had to be the absolute authority on what they talked about and honestly, I don’t want to be seen as the 100% perfect, gold star example of what to do on Instagram, because clearly I am not always the best at it. What I am good at is being brave enough to try, observing trends, and what I think I am honestly best at is encouraging other people. Though I have an interest in social media and how it all works, I am a creative at heart and needed to find a way to express both interests.

And this all doesn’t mean you shouldn’t experiment, even if you think it might kill your channel. It just means it might be time to rest, not quit. Just take a break and allow yourself to slowly expand and experiment - versus throwing yourself off the deep end (if you’re not ready).

Okay, but now what? How am I going to move forward from here?

First of all, I established some solutions to help me prevent these major burnouts in the future.

Burnout Solution #1: Take a Break and Work Less

I am very privileged that as my business grew, I was able to hire an amazing team of folks to help work on my business - Creatorly Media. Because of that - I have been able to continue to step back and do less hours of work each week. Of course, there is a literal cost to doing this - this has meant that I make less money - but that’s a decision I made when I hit rock bottom. It’s worth it to me to make less, but have more time for myself and my own interests.

Burnout Solution #2: Going to Therapy

I decided it was time to try therapy and it was actually through chatting with my therapist that I finally started to acknowledge that I was burnt out. Before, I would blame it on my efficiency or focus - I always blamed myself versus just recognizing I hit the ultimate burnout.

Burnout Solution #3: Get a New Hobby

Due to the pandemic and being stuck at home all the time - I didn’t really have anything else to focus on outside of work. Before - I used to play roller derby, I would frequently spend time with my family, etc. … but due to restrictions, I wasn’t able to do those things anymore. So, I was only finding my worth in working - but once my business was at a more steady season, versus growing exponentially - I was no longer feeling worthy enough. So with that - I am slowly trying to discover new hobbies, where I can find meaning and self-worth that aren’t associated with work - like reading and online courses (for personal development, not work). You might hear folks say you need to diversify your income, but you should also be diversify your self-worth - don’t put all of your worth in one basket.

Burnout Solution #4: Spend Time with Friends and Family

During the pandemic, I tried to keep up my social life virtually with a virtual book club with my friends and regular facetime hangouts - but we all know that’s just not the same. But thankfully, since I live in a place where vaccination rates are really high and things are opening up again - I have been able to regain some sort of social life.

Burnout Solution #5: Let Go of Your Goals

This is definitely challenging if you are a content creator or entrepreneur, but letting go of your goals and living in the moment can help release some of the pressure you might be feeling while trying to constantly reach the next big thing.

Now that I have a better understanding on how to avoid another major burnout, where do I go from here?

Where does my YouTube channel go from here?

First, a big thanks to all of you who supported me during this time. I have decided to give it another shot. We are humans. We sometimes fall into that trap that the grass might be greener on the other side. But after giving myself three months to experiment, I realized that I really do find passion in talking about social media strategy and providing support to those who are trying to grow their business online. So now, I am moving on to my next chapter - where I am no longer limiting myself to only doing Instagram tips or only doing lifestyle content - but make the videos that I think will encourage you - mixed with content I am passionate about too and I am removing the pressure I felt to be perfect. So, I will continue to share tidbits of things that I have learned in 10+ years as a content creator and also encourage you on your journey on also making content for the internet. I want to continue building community, sharing knowledge, and finding friendship.

If you haven’t already, find me on YouTube to follow my journey, my new chapter. My promise to you is that I will always be honest and transparent, so that as I learn and grow - you can learn and grow with me. And if this is something you have gone through before too, just know you will get through this rough season in your brand or business - and hey, you’re definitely not alone. Thanks for listening!